For Once

For once this post is not about books or writing. It's, randomly, about ethnicity.

Not so random, I guess. I was talking to Jeevan about how I don't really consider myself Korean-American, but just Korean, probably because I came here when I was eight and am still superficially in tune with the Korean culture and language. But, I realized that I am not really...anything.

When I visit Korea, it feels like I am in a foreign country, even if I look like the people there and understand the language perfectly. I guess it's kind of like an American being in England or Australia. I am too comfortably settled in the American culture and the setting that Korean culture is like a foreign entity. But, at the same time, I don't consider myself American and probably wouldn't mind living in Korea. (Although it might be a bit difficult for me to adjust, seeing that I am more fluent in English than in Korean.) And, I just found out that I have a slight accent when I speak English, which was new to me. So, here I am, stuck in the middle, not fully anything, not able to fully decide to be anything, because I have two cultures inside my belly that both make my current self.

It's a weird feeling. It feels like I am floating inside a gigantic fish net that's hung from two lonely planets in space.